Why conflict arises

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship.

The attachment concept of ‘rupture and repair’ can be useful to consider.^[1] This acknowledges that relationship disconnections frequently happen. When they do, some action needs to occur to restore relationship equilibrium and a sense of safety and connection. Ruptures can be ‘wake-up’ calls signalling that something needs to change. They can also indicate the relationship is reaching new depths which is a positive thing.^[2]

Due to their greater positional power, the supervisor will often need to initiate the repair and reconnection.

There are various reasons why supervisory relationships can become difficult and fraught. Like any relationship, there can be misunderstandings or communication breakdowns. Sometimes expectations are not aligned, or a supervisee has experienced unhelpful supervision in the past.

Other factors include:

• imposter syndrome, where professionals doubt their skills and effectiveness and fear being found out. Supervisors and supervisees can feel at risk of exposure. This can lead to feelings of shame and fear, which in turn can be expressed as resistance and even hostility^[3]
• set-up-to-fail syndrome, where supervisors unconsciously respond to minor performance concerns by increasing their monitoring and instructions towards the supervisee.^[4] This then signals to the supervisee that their supervisor lacks confidence in them, resulting in an unhelpful and possibly damaging dynamic and the development of more significant performance issues
• parallel processes playing out within the supervisory relationship. This is a term often used in trauma-informed organisations to explain clinical dynamics playing out throughout a system. An example is the dynamic of power and control playing out within family violence work and then similar power and control themes occur between practitioners and management
• line managers, clinical and external supervisors have a different level of power to the supervisee, regardless of how relaxed and collaborative the agency or supervisor is. This can lead to supervisees reacting to any use of authority
• harmful supervision. This is defined as those ‘situations where action or inaction on the part of the supervisor is known to cause harm’. It includes supervisors wanting to control practitioners and bullying ^[5]
• vicarious trauma, burnout and disillusion with the system and organisation, which can play out in the supervisory relationship.