Michael: It’s important to to be genuine with yourself and what’s going on internally rather than to be concerned about you know, the expectations that other people are putting down or what society says is normal or expected.
Those things aren’t going to give you the right answers.
My name is Michael.
[On screen text: LGBTIQA+ Asking about asexuality]
My interests include training in martial arts, getting out into the outdoors activities like hiking, camping, kayaking and the like.
And also I’m playing a lot of Dungeons and Dragons at the moment, which is really fun.
And we’re here today to have a chat about asexuality. I first found out about asexuality back when I was at uni around 22, 24 years old.
One night in the library when I was procrastinating on writing my thesis, I was looking up stories, different character archetypes and the like on a website called TV Tropes.
And on that I found a page called Asexuality, and it had a line in it speaking about characters who for no other reason, simply weren’t interested in other people on a sexual level.
And when I read that sentence, that paragraph, something clicked to me and I thought, oh, damn, that’s… that’s me.
And for the rest of the night, my thesis was forgotten. Delved into a whole bunch of different research articles, pages, YouTube videos, the works... Left that library a changed man.
The main misconception that I hear a lot when I’m explaining asexuality to someone is that people think that asexuality simply means I’m not interested in sex.
And that’s not necessarily the case for a lot of people. It might be for some, and that’s perfectly fine, but not a lot.
It’s not just one one identity where everyone fits the mould. Some people who identify as ace might experience slight sexual attraction, others might experience it strongly, but only under certain conditions.
Asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual attraction towards other people.
Now you can still engage in sexual activity without that attraction. That’s something that happens every day.
And some members of our community are sex positive and want those experiences, others prefer not to engage. Either way is fine.
But when it comes to the public’s misconception, asexuality is about the lack of sexual attraction, not necessarily the lack of sexual activity or behaviour.
The main difference between thinking I was straight and coming to terms or acknowledging that, oh, actually I am Ace and I am queer.
That gave me the knowledge and the words to be able to communicate my… my own experiences, my own wants and desires. And conversely, what I don’t want.
And knowing that that’s okay, that I’m… I’m allowed to search for happiness in the way that best suits me and how other people do it might not be the right answer for me.
And that’s perfectly fine. And that’s not something that I would be able to do if I even if I didn’t know that asexuality was an option and I wasn’t able to be honest with myself about those things.
It’s… it’s important to acknowledge, okay, if you identify with something and that that label or that identity makes you happy, that’s awesome and that’s something worth… worth paying attention to.
[On screen text: Vic, Subscribe, The Department of Families, Fairness and Housing]
[End of transcript]
Updated